Is kissing cheating?
Last Thanksgiving, during a particularly interesting and revealing ‘true talk’ conversation with my favorite boys, a question was thrown around – have you ever cheated. Kwame, (sorry to put you on blast) with a genuinely innocent face, he couldn’t have looked more saintly, says, ‘Is kissing cheating?’ The whole room erupts and he’s bombarded and blasted for at least an hour. What was worse, I think, was the completely oblivious way he asked the question. Seriously, he wasn’t kidding, he really wanted to know if kissing was cheating.
My older cousin Soma (looks like it’s a name dropping day) once said, ‘kissing is a form of greeting.’ I never forgot that. She’s my older cousin, I worshipped her, I believed her and I trusted her. If Soma says kissing is a form of greeting, then of course that’s all it is!
So for years (forgive me Lord), I operated under that assumption. And since she didn’t classify what type of kissing she meant, I put them all under one bracket. Hey if you want to peck 3 times to say hello, go for it. If you’d rather French kiss, that’s your choice too.
But who was I kidding huh? French kissing someone who is not your boyfriend, girlfriend, significant other, etc, in my absolute opinion is cheating. Yeah, yeah, the guilty ones are preparing a solid argument. That’s awesome, because honestly, I would love to go back to the ‘it’s just saying hello’ mentality. My ignorance was such bliss.
Another friend also once said, ‘kissing is an intimate act, a way to express a feeling. You shouldn’t do it liberally.’ He dampened my soul for a day or two. Not do it liberally? Are you kidding? Why was he telling me this at this point and not years ago when my cousin corrupted my young and impressionable mind (17 counts as young and impressionable right?). Anyways, the damage had been done. He was a little late. It’s his fault.
A couple of girlfriends and I decided to jot down the names of every guy we had ever kissed. Do not attempt! Although one of them prefers to deny her numbers, it really doesn’t matter. Revealing the results of that exercise would be like revealing who really killed JFK. No one can ever know! Honestly, no one can ever know because I really don’t remember. I lost track after I hit God knows what number.
Anyhoo, so I was misled. Not all kissing is a form of greeting. French kissing is intimate and special and beautiful, and should not be abused. Frankly, is it possible to abuse French kissing? Apparently it is. I was at Wendy’s one night with a couple of people, I think it was the same night Kwame asked his infamous question, and Jeezy (you know yourself) said something that took a minute to sink in, something regarding bad kisses. Huh? I was confused. Bad kisses? He’s a guy, how can any kiss be bad?! I was in shock for a minute, I was completely lost. It had never occurred to me, even for a minute, that any guy could ever declare a kiss a bad kiss. I don’t know what planet I was on. Shouldn’t all guys be grateful if a girl plants one on them? Apparently not, the ungrateful sods! I’ve never had any complaints, of course, and I’d never heard any other guy talk about a bad kiss with a girl. This was the first time. I felt sorry for the poor picky fellow, and the poor girl whose older cousin never encouraged her to practice.
When that night ended, and Kwame had been properly educated, my views of kissing were changed, slightly. If Kwame didn’t know kissing was cheating, I wasn’t the only one who’d been misled. Is it cheating? Really? Honestly? Don’t lie. Is it? I mean, come on, is it?
I think it is. I’m sure it is. Would I kick my boyfriend to the curb because he French kissed another girl? Oh yes. The only reason it probably didn’t go further was because the physical environment didn’t allow it. If he French kissed another girl, chances are he wanted to sleep with her. But, I also learnt something profound from one of the guys that night. If a girl makes the first move, and kisses him, he wouldn’t say no. Imagine that! Well then, he shouldn’t say no to me walking away right?
After years of kissing freely, sorry I meant to say after years of saying hello freely, who am I to judge on this one? Kissing is like a hobby, an old hobby of mine, the way I like to write or watch movies or 24. But you have to know when to do it. I wouldn’t watch 24 at work – SC peeps, really I wouldn’t. Likewise, we can’t just kiss anyone and everyone, especially if you’re in a committed relationship.
I do have a list of people I’d love to kiss before I die, preferably way sooner. But if I get hitched before I clear that list, I’ll leave it at that. Simple.
Kwame, my dear, kissing is cheating, you got that?