Men are from Mars – and women don’t speak Martian (by Akua Abeasi)

So maybe the cliché ‘men are from Mars…and women are from Venus is not just a washed up, overused saying but there is some truth to this old adage. How often do we use this saying as a justifiable reason why men and women sometimes don’t get along or why they are treated differently under very similar circumstances. Quite frankly I think it’s a cheap cop out  for us not to play nice and also to excuse society’s mislabeling  of men and women unfairly. My favorite, of course, is the ‘double standard’ approach society has adopted as a ‘norm’. I have actually had many guys agree vehemently with this sorry excuse of a behavior!

For instance, a guy goes sleeping around with all kinds of women and he is giving a hug and a pound for being “a man’s man”, however, flip the script and have a woman do this…she is branded a “ho” and her chances of ever settling down is close to nothing. Sexual promiscuity with guys is a medal of honor whiles with women it is a stigma for life. The accepted term is ‘sexual liberation’ and a guy exercising his ‘liberation’ is just another ordinary red blooded fella dealing with his racing hormones, however, a sexually liberated woman is just a polite way of saying she is wanton or…my favorite …loose. What’s up with that! Don’t get me wrong… I’m not the one to endorse multiple sexual encounters, I was brought up the old fashioned way and have very old fashioned values and I definitely support the belief that too much of everything is bad! However, my argument here is not with the count of sexual partners but with the standard for counting these partners. I think it’s only fair for the rules to be unbiased and used fairly across the board, irrespective of sex. If a sexual promiscuous guy is believe to be just ‘sowing his royal oats’ then an equally sexually promiscuous woman should be thought of just picking up her blossomed lilies! Too much to ask? Well then how about we just do away with sexual promiscuity and stick to the days of commitment and single partners!

 My daily interaction with guys has really broadened my perspectives and taught me a thing or two. Ladies, if you don’t understand guys…try spending quality time with them…and you will definitely NOT understand them…but at least you will know how to deal with the ‘misunderstanding’. I have had many heated conversations with my male colleagues which have ended up with me really believing man are from mars and hoping they would all jump in a space ship and just go back! (…just a harmless thought…don’t really want them to leave…okay maybe a few of them!). The double standard topic is a very familiar topic in my household. It keeps coming up and never gets resolved. Each time, I am served with the same bowl of cr*p (excuse my French) as explanations. My favorite, of course is how women are emotionally wired and so sleeping around is just an indication of crossed wires or a short circuit somewhere. Or how about the one that goes like this, “men are sexual beings and think of sex 99% of the time so are disposed to wanting to ‘tap that ass’ at all time”…my answer to that…two words…SELF CONTROL!!! Women are sexual beings too, but we exercise self control…guys you can learn a thing or two! However, women do get the ‘itch’ every now and then, and when they do go out to handle their ‘owns’ and get the itch scratched, they are judged! Basically what I am trying to say here is that building a sexual portfolios shouldn’t be a plus for the fellas and a minus for the sistas…we need to pick a stance and stick with it, irrespective of who the ‘sexual investor’ is!

 Please don’t mistake me for a male-bashing, angry female – far from it!  I’m just trying to set the record straight. Nevertheless, I think women have their issues too and I’m here to dig out everyone’s dirt!!!

 So sometimes I believe women are their own downfall! They can be self-destructive and the ripple effect; very generous. Take the scenario below for instance, this is yet another example of how men and women are wired differently. (And this time guys, I’m on your side).

Scene : Girl cheats with her man’s friend, gets caught…her man dumps her, writes her off as a bad investment and moves on with life, but here’s the mindblower: the man remains cordial with his friend who smashed his girl (after a while of course, might even share a beer and laugh over the whole situation)! Flip the script…guy cheats with his girl’s friend, gets caught…now instead of realizing he is damaged goods and moving on like the first scenario, girl picks up a fight with  her now ex-friend and then there a tag of war for the ‘trifling’ man who basically duped both ladies. While the girls are scuffling for their tainted trophy, he’s cruising around with girl number 3 or even worse, he decides to reward one of the fighting broads and the other one is exiled! Now what is wrong with that picture!!!! Ladies we need to wise up…we are being bamboozled here! Why can’t we realize a lost cause when we see one! Even if we decide to stay with the guy in the long run…I think the person to pick the fight with in the beginning is your man!!!! Find out what his real problem is and stop compromising your classiness by rambling with a home wrecker…THEY ARE CRAZY ANYWAY!!! Ladies we can definitely learn a thing or two from our Martians…what do you think?