Facebook Dating



Over the last few months, I’ve had quite a number of friends and relatives tell me they met their significant others on Facebook. Each time someone says that, I pause and wonder; Facebook? How does anyone meet someone worthwhile on Facebook? How does it happen? A stranger sends someone a message and then they reply and go from there? Is it through commenting on mutual friends’ pages? Is it through Facebook groups? I’ve never understood this Facebook dating concept mainly because I can’t picture how it happens.
I can’t imagine building a friendship or even a relationship with someone I don’t know on Facebook. And that’s also because of the kinds of messages and solicitations I get. They are just plain hilarious (see sample below). Each time I read one of these messages, I wonder, does this guy really think I am going to reply, or call? As he typed those words and hit send, did he really, truly expect that I’d smile and go, aww how sweet?  So far, the messages I get have just been comic relief – makes me laugh every now and then.

I saw Catfish (one of the best movies of 2011) a little over a month ago and it was jarring. In this movie, a photographer starts a Facebook friendship with a young talented painter and her family – her older sexy sister, her equally sexy mother and even her brother and a whole host of other friends. I don’t want to spoil the movie for anyone, but if you’ve seen Catfish then you know that Facebook relationships with strangers can be intriguing and exciting but also scary and troubling. Between Catfish and the random guys who send me messages, I really can’t picture how people find love and lasting relationships on Facebook. How does it happen? What am I missing? Am I just not attracting the right kinds?

Despite my own hesitation, Facebook relationships are growing. Facebook dating isn’t as structured and purposeful as online dating sites such as eharmony and match.com but its growing pretty fast and some professional matchmatchers and relationship gurus claim in less 10 years Facebook may be the go-to site for dating. I’m a skeptic – big time, but I am also open to learning and understanding what this new trend is all about. And since I have close to 4000 “friends” on Facebook I wonder if my guy is somewhere on my friends list. Right now, I doubt it because so far the messages I get are kinda lame (no offense to anyone). So people help me out. If you’re in a relationship which started on Facebook, please share your story. I am honestly very curious. For those I personally know, all they say is they met on Facebook but they’ve never elaborated how it all started to me. I heard about the latest one last week which is why I’ve decided to come out of my blogging hiatus and write this post. I really want to know, because I have no good examples to think of. As always, you can use a fake name to share your story, but do share. Make a believer out of me :-).

I’ve also decided to post a select few of my messages here. I think my favorite from the list below is ” text your number and get linked up … its important dunt doubt obey.” Obey! Hysterical! For real??  If your message is on here – don’t be offended, think of it as feedback. You honestly need to rethink your strategy. I get about one of these a week, and I end up deleting most of them. Who knows, maybe one day I’ll get one message that will truly knock me off my feet. Until then, I’ll just keep chuckling.